There are still presenters who, when introduced and take the platform, will start their presentation by telling a joke or a story that bears no relationship to their topic. In this article I want to share ways for presenters to develop strong and effective “Signature Stories” that will succeed in getting the audience’s attention.

Personal “Signature Stories” about Other People’s Experiences

• These can be motivating stories about an historical person — please, not Thomas Edison! Do your factual research about the character, the times in which he or she lived — what they wore, what they ate, and other details you won’t use, but need to know yourself. Then craft a story that has meaning and pizzazz.
• These can also be stories about someone you know or have known — be sure, if they are still living that you have permission, even if you give them a different name. This type of story — because it isn’t about you — can tell of accomplishments and triumphs. Just remember that you never want to tell a story that you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling if the person it is about is a member of the audience.

Original, Traditional Stories with a Twist, or Fairy/Folk Tales

• I fear that many presenters feel that “Signature Stories” must have been something that actually happened. Not necessarily true! I have a cockroach story that is based on the “Pied Piper of Hamlin” that I have told for years. I have also heard excellent presentations based on Aesop’s Fables — they offer a plethora of plots and morals, of course.
• If you love stories and go both ways — as I do as a speaker and storyteller — use the fairy or folk tales that mean something important to you. It will add such a good change of pace to your presentation, your listeners will sit up and take notice. And, love you for it too!

Ingredients to Use When Developing Your “Signature Story”

• I would be remiss at this stage not to mention some of the ingredients that help you develop, prepare, and tell an effective, compelling story. A good story has a beginning, middle, and end. It must include conflict or crises, and a climax or resolution. It is not merely a descriptive anecdote. It must have plot.
• Make your stories short, punchy, and meaningful. Include pauses, drama, suspense, and not too many details. Think in images and create those pictures for your listeners.
• Finally, have fun creating your stories. And, practice, practice, practice them on friends, family and even strangers!

I guarantee that the next time you present, you will WOW your audience with your “Signature Story.”

Not a battle, not a war…

A negotiation is neither a battle nor a war. Instead, over the years, I’ve preferred to see it in the context of a problem-solving process. The danger in seeing a negotiation as a battle or a war is that, if you do, it becomes way too personal — way too quickly. And as it becomes way too personal, the focus will inevitably turn to “winners” and “losers” in the negotiation. And as this happens, both sides will start to keep score. And as we start to keep score, we will find ourselves on a slippery steep slope sliding quickly away from the possibility of a successful negotiation…

Instead, I’ve preferred to think of a negotiation instead as a journey. Once you and the other side have agreed on the destination for your journey, the focus then shifts to finding a way to work together to get there that suits you both. The critical element to achieve success, therefore, is the ability to work together — or to collaborate or brainstorm. George Bernard Shaw offers this insight into the power of collaboration:

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
Over the years, we’ve all experienced the power of collaboration as a tool for innovation, creativity and greater productivity in our various activities. Why should this be any different in the context of negotiation? It isn’t…

A myth…

In his book, The Culture of Collaboration, Evan Rosen refers to The Myth of the Single Cowboy. This is the idea of a John Wayne riding in on a white horse to solve any problem without any anyone’s help. This has led to the concept of celebrity. And it is to the gods of celebrity that we worship, whether the object of our admiration is a cowboy, quarterback, surgeon or chef. And the result? Almost everyone secretly (or openly) yearns to be a celebrity.

When organizations and negotiating teams embrace the idea of celebrity they reinforce The Myth of the Single Cowboy. One effect is to create competition for the role of celebrity. This sometimes results in those who should be collaborating opting not to share knowledge with anyone who is perceived as a competitor. And, for collaboration, this is a cancer. In the context of negotiation, the only way we can ever reach our agreed destination is for both sides to share information. We therefore have to create a negotiating environment that encourages information-sharing. We also have to try to leverage the concept of celebrity for our own benefit…

My hero theory — and a starting point in creating that environment…

Whether or not we like it, the concept of celebrity is a reality that won’t go away. Over the years, I have tried to leverage this in negotiations. I have tried to identify someone on the other side who I wanted to make a hero or a celebrity within his or her organization. Invariable, if we were lucky, this would often create an ally within the other camp.

An invaluable starting point in creating a negotiating environment that encourages this information-sharing is to draw on the 10 Powers of Negotiation that Nelson Mandela displayed in his historic negotiations with the South African apartheid government. Consider how each of these 10 Powers might help create the negotiating environment we are trying to create:

• The power of understanding that a negotiation is a process.
• The power of preparation.
• The power of positioning.
• The power of common sense and logic.
• The power of dignity, congeniality, humility and humor.
• The power of truth and fairness.
• The power of observation – of listening and seeing.
• The power of morality, courage and attitude.
• The power of patience.
• The power to walk away.

As I will discuss in later articles, each of these Powers works to help create the needed environment to help you reach your negotiation destination.

Here are a few collaboration concepts that are sometimes particularly effective in the negotiation context.

The concept of Collaborative Chaos…

Because some negotiators prefer to view negotiation as a contest — or something that occurs exclusively in the context of dispute resolution, they rarely think of negotiation and collaboration in the same breath. They don’t see a negotiation as a problem-solving process. The result is that they invariably approach negotiation in a way that does not encourage information-sharing and innovation. The problem about this is that information-sharing and innovation is indispensable as we need to solve the problems we need solved to reach our joint destination.

In preparing for a negotiation, therefore, those negotiators who view negotiation as a contest generally tend to treat the negotiation as an ordered and structured process — and often even a scripted process. Not that this is necessarily bad. It is just that, in the context of having to find innovative solutions to seemingly insurmountable problems, we might just sometimes need something a little different.

Effective collaboration sometimes requires some degree of chaos. Chaos isn’t the same as disorganization. Instead, it means the unstructured exchange of ideas that is always designed to create value. The problem with an ordered approach is that it encourages predictable results — and that might not necessarily be what we want or need. Collaborative chaos allows for the unexpected to happen — and that is sometimes quite good…

Collaborative chaos requires a free flow of ideas — something we commonly call brainstorming. This requires courage, because our initial ideas might not be neither great nor particularly profound. What often happens, however, is that an initially flawed idea might trigger a refinement that, in turn, might trigger something better and more innovative. And that gives birth to a Eureka! moment. It is a case of one thing leading to another. An example is the discovery of penicillin that was apparently the result of chaos, rather than order. As he was researching influenza, Alexander Fleming noticed that mold had invaded a culture plate of Staphylococci. It had created a bacteria-free circle around itself. The mold he found wasn’t something he was specifically looking for. The name he gave this mold was penicillin…

To introduce a strain of collaborative chaos into a negotiation also serves other useful purposes. It helps create the impression with the other side that you and they are sitting on the same side of the table as you work together to find solutions. It can also breed trust. It tends to confirm that not everything you do is scripted and is a calculated ploy to get something from them. It thereby tends to lower defenses. Finally, it allows you to be self-deprecating as you criticize your own ideas — and this again helps build relationships and trust.

The concept of Constructive Collaboration…

What the concept of constructive collaboration focuses on is the need to confront concepts rather than people. While there is always a need for all sides to take a position on any particular idea that is put forward, the idea is always to confront concepts rather than people.

Collaboration requires exchanging viewpoints — and this often results in confrontation. But confrontation is not bad — provided it does not become personal. Constructive confrontation is about being able to present your position on something that others may not agree with, but in a way that focuses on concepts rather than people.

Former Intel CEO Andy Grove encouraged constructive confrontation. He supported the notion of encouraging debate with differing points of view. Ultimately, when this occurs, business issues come into clearer focus. He believed that difficult decisions require clarity of thought — and that debate brings this clarity. Similarly, in a negotiation, negotiators must confront each other so that they can clarify their differences. This, in turn, will help with the collaborative problem-solving process.

No collaboration without creating trust…

At the risk of sounding like a fortune cookie, people like working with people they like. And if people don’t trust you, it is unlikely they will like you. Certainly, if they don’t trust you, they will find it difficult if not impossible to collaborate with you. And if they find it difficult to collaborate with you, reaching your destination will become problematic… So, how do you create trust? Stay tuned…

Are you buying your partner a Christmas present?

Of course you are! Then what about the dog in your life? After all your four-legger is part of the fur-family and if you don’t want those sad puppy-dog eyes sending you on a guilt trip, it’s time to get shopping.

When you buy your partner’s present, you spend time thinking about what they’d like or appreciate. Do the same with your dog, but don’t just stick to balls or a Frisbee (or if you do, get an indestructible one) – think outside the box with these gifts you might otherwise overlook.

#1: Safety First

You wouldn’t let your child travel unrestrained in the car, so why let your fur-baby? This Christmas give a gift that could save your dog’s life: a car safety harness. These should be comfortable yet strong, and secure onto the vehicle’s existing safety belt system. Look for models that are crash-test certified; to be sure they’ll do the job in the unfortunate event of a collision.

And if you have a large dog that travels in the trunk, consider investing in a crashed-test safety cage. These are sturdy enough not to crumple in a rear-end accident, and keep your dog safely confined so they don’t run off across a busy carriageway.

#2: Memory Foam Dog-Bed

Anyone with a bad back will appreciate the bliss of a memory foam mattress for a good night’s sleep. If you have an older dog, with sore arthritic elbows and hips, then imagine the comfort a memory foam bed could offer. Its supportive properties mean that the dog’s weight is spread evenly and heat retained around those stiff joints. So if you have an old-timer who deserves a little indulgence, this could a special gift that makes a real difference to him.

#3: Kong

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with toys, but give one that counts. A Kong is a wonderful way to keep your dog occupied for as long as it takes to lick out the tasty treat inside. They’re inexpensive, last forever, and are great for distracting dogs that are unhappy at being left behind when you go out.

#4: Dog Backpack

Here’s a present you can both enjoy: a doggy backpack. Think of this as a down payment on weekend walks in the country, where your canine companion carries his own supplies. He’s going to adore spending time in your company; it’s a great way for you both to get fit. So where a regular dog toy is forgotten in minutes, a backpack gives countless hours of fun.

#5: A Clicker

Last, but certainly not least, you’re barking up the right tree with a clicker. If you have yet to discover the positive power of clicker training, read up on the magic of how you can change your dogs behaviour.. This could be the start of a better-behaved dog that looks forward to his training sessions – Now if that isn’t a paw-some gift from Santa Paws; it’s hard to know what is!