Why We Need Leaders With Negotiating Skills?: The CAPIROCK Approach!

After, over four decades of involvement, in, nearly – every aspect of effectively leading, from identifying and qualifying, to training, developing, and consulting to thousands of actual, and/ or, potential leaders, as well as serving as a leader, several times, and negotiating, hundreds of, both, large and small contracts, I strongly believe, for someone to become a true, meaningful, responsible, effective leader, he must be aware of the challenges, and necessities, of quality negotiating, and using that knowledge, to the group’s best interest! In order to achieve, and learn, how to use, every negotiation, to the organization’s actual benefit (in a realistic manner), I believe and have taught, what I refer to, as the, CAPIROCK method, to make this easier, to accomplish, learn, and utilize. With, that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, using the mnemonic approach, what this means and represents, and why it matters.

1. Customized: Since, every organization, is unique, in some way, and each negotiation, requires a certain degree of individual planning, one must proceed, in a customized way, based on the guiding principles, taught, and learned, from a professionally – designed, customized, leadership training, and planning, program!

2. Absolute integrity: Some, falsely believe, there is some benefit, to claiming certain things, during a negotiation, which, to say the least, stretch – the – truth! While, at some time, there may be, an apparent advantage, in the short – term, to doing this, the only way, in the longer – run, to develop the type of relationship, needed, to achieve, a win – win, negotiations, the negotiator must proceed, with absolute integrity!

3. Promises: Avoid the temptation to make empty promises, and/ claims, which you can’t deliver, because, at some point, that approach, is harmful, and back – fires!

4. Ideas; imagination; innovate; insights: Great negotiators need the imagination, and insights, to perceive and conceive of, create, and implement, the finest ideas, and approaches, to create the optimal results! Instead of seeking the same – old, same – old, and being restricted, by the self – imposed limitations of their comfort zone, one needs to proceed, with a willingness, and ability to innovate!

5. Relevant; results; responsive; ramifications: How a leader proceeds, and negotiates, often, has ramifications, and, thus, we need to let prospective leaders, understand, how essential, the results, are, in the immediate, and longer – term!

6. Outside – box; open – mind: When a negotiator considers options and alternatives, and the needs of the other side, he uses an outside – the – box, open – minded, approach, to show, how there are potential mutual savings, and shared – benefits, for both sides!

7. Character; creative; calm/ calming; clear/ clarify; cooperate; contingencies: Great negotiators show their quality of character, to their negotiating adversaries, by being calm, and clarifying, what you seek! Calming leaders suggest creative options and approaches, in a clear, cooperative manner, and include, contingency clauses, and plans, for whatever, one can conceive – of!

8. Knowledge; keen: It takes self – confidence, training, knowledge, and expertise, to proceed, with keen attention, to the most viable solutions, for the specific circumstances!

We need to create leaders, with the training, and personal character, to take advantage of the CAPIROCK approach to negotiating! Are you fit to be a real leader?

The Present Is a Gift

Every day holds new opportunities. Every dawn provides us with a valuable gift which is to improve and grow ourselves for the better, increase our knowledge of ourselves.

There’s a famous saying that goes: “The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” The present offers us the opportunity to change ourselves for the better, and get rid of past patterns or old behavioral rooted deep within that impede us from moving forward towards the knowledge of ourselves. These might be a wrong way of thinking or a wrong way of seeing life, procrastinating, living in fear or in doubts, etc.

We all end up by learning, either willingly or through pain, for nothing happen in our life but for a reason: to teach us a lesson we need to learn. Moreover, we all need to reassess from time to time our own perspective from life. We need to re-evaluate our thoughts, our emotions and behaviors. For life is a school of the self where we need to understand ourselves better, elevate ourselves to a higher vibration.

If you tend to be surrounded by people who often treat you unfairly then at one time of your lifetime, you tended to treat people unfairly as well. For every cause there is a result. Our present is the result of our past and will be the cause of our future. That’s the funny wheel of karma. Awakening to your previous life enlighten you on many issues about your present, the people that are in your current life including your family, friends and acquaintances.

On the other hand, the present is a blessing, for no matter how much we might have messed up in our previous life, the present is an opportunity to fix it.

Moreover, the present time gives us the opportunity to heal our wounds that might reside within; these might be in the forum of ancient trauma that might have arisen either from this life or from a previous one.

Last but not least, the present teaches us how to love ourselves and embrace all the difficulties within.

The bottom line is that when we delve within and find more about ourselves and our relationships, we boost the spiritual life that is alive within each one of us.

To Negotiate Successfully Perceive Genuine Anger Using Micro Expressions

Glimpsing anger, via the use of micro expressions, is a unique way of gaining insight into someone’s real emotional state of mind. That’s due to the fact that micro expressions are not filtered by the mind, before an emotional act is committed. Thus, the emotions displayed via micro expressions are not contrived.

There are seven emotions expressed through micro expressions: anger, disgust, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise, and contempt.

This article explores the emotion of anger when used in a negotiation. In particular, it explores how anger is expressed, how to detect it, and how to utilize the recognition of it during a negotiation by using micro expressions (note: the same methods of detection and utilization can also be used in your personal endeavors).

Once a negotiator recognizes signals that highlight a micro expressed action, that negotiator attains a huge advantage when interacting with people. When negotiating, the advantage almost becomes unfair. To gain such an advantage, consider discovering and detecting real anger in your negotiations by utilizing micro expressions.

During any negotiation, participants involved in the negotiation will possess and display a wide range of emotions. In some cases, it may not behoove the negotiator that’s angered to express his demeanor, for fear of divulging a hidden position that he does not wish to have exposed. In so doing, he may try to portray a different demeanor in an attempt to conceal his real emotion.

To detect anger by using micro expressions, observe an intense appearance in the eyes (that might be akin to someone staring/looking through you), eyebrows down and together, and a narrowing of the lips. In this emotional state of mind, the other negotiator’s eyes, while focused on you, are also being used as an introspective reflection of the thoughts being discussed. It’s another indicator that the other negotiator is fixated on the thoughts that are angering and confronting him. Once you sense genuine anger, validate your findings by addressing your perception with the other negotiator and the reasoning behind his anger.

Anger can cause the rational process of thinking to be abandoned. Thus, when one is genuinely angered, one does not think as clearly as would otherwise be the case. By harnessing the power of micro expressions, you’ll be able to detect if anger is being used as a tool of evasiveness, or to create ambiguity. With that detection ability as an ally, you’ll decrease the probability of being thwarted by false ploys. This in turn will allow you to be more successful when negotiating… and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

The Negotiation Tips Are…

• Anger serves the purpose of changing one’s demeanor. In a negotiation, you must maintain mental control of your environment. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by the false pretense of anger.

• Micro expressions allow you to unearth potential problems in a negotiation. To be successful, heighten your senses when detecting anger in a negotiation.

• Determine the genuineness of anger by learning how to interpret micro expressions.